The Serco Cybernetic Regulatory committee has announced a second emergency recall on a shipment of its increasingly popular "cybernetic replacement genitals". The controversial but hot selling product has gained massive popularity on certain stations in Sedina and Odia where illicit recreational services may be obtained for a reasonable fee. Despite the previous recall, the CRGs are selling better than ever.
This second recall was announced when it was discovered that several hundred thousand male units were found to be operating at eleven hundred percent above accepted parameters as well as being able to function as a gatling cannon. So far over ten thousand minor injuries, eleven serious injuries and fifty seven fatalities have been reported. Most incidents reportedly occurred in UIT or Itani space.
Serco High Command denies that Serco teens are using the CRGs for a new type of combat dubbed "Cock Fighting" where in the combatants use the CRGs AGT function to engage in personal combat
REBELS SEIZE PELATUS
SYSTEM, HUNDREDS PEYTROS ARRESTED
DEAD
A small group of heavily armed rebels seized control of the all worm holes in the Pelatus system. Upon establishing a presence in the Pelatus systems only station they began launching raids on Corvus convoys coming through the Bractus/Pelatus worm hole, destroying all ships and seizing what ever cargo or weapons survived. Their motives for the capture of the Pelatus system are as of yet, unclear as they have made no statement or demands. Within hours of attacking the first Corvus convoy, Corvus security forces from Bractus, Odia and Sedina mounted an assault on the rebels with disastrous results. Of the one hundred thirty seven Corvus ships sent to eliminate the rebels only threereturned. Corvus officials are considering rerouting convoys to avoid the rebels until the situation is handled. | ON CHARGES OF ITANI CRUELTY... Notorious pirate and murderer, Peytros... was taken into custody earlier this evening on charges of Itani cruelty and endangerment. The charges stem from several incidents where in it is alleged that Peytros forced two hundred Itani citizens into the cargo hold of a Behemoth XC and flew in tight circles while engaging the ships turbo for hours before flying as close as possible to a Red Dwarf star and opening the cargo hold... jettisoning the terrified and dizzy Itani into space. Itani defense forces tracked him to a bar in a Corvus controlled sector of Sedina where he was allegedly involved in unseemly conduct involving Sedina strippers, narcotics, seventeen live mutated eels and a box of chocolates. When asked why he killed the two hundred innocent civilians he responded... "It was for science... I wanted to determine wether an average Itani jettisoned into space, in close proximity to a Red Dwarf star... would freeze, asphyxiate, burn or die in some other fashion... I'm sure you can see how this experiment benefits the entire universe and brings us all closer to peace." ... Peytros is being held with out bail until he can be evaluated to determine if he is fit to stand trial after having requested that he be represented in court by a Fennus Observer bot which has allegedly been following him and broadcasting instructions into his head. |